Self-esteem

Self-esteem is important to our happiness, health and development. Dr Abraham Maslow lists self-esteem at the top of his hierarchy of needs – only behind food, shelter and interpersonal relationships. Self-esteem is ’a person’s overall evaluation or appraisal of his or her own worth. Considering the meaning why would anyone suffer from low self-esteem? Well this can occur for a variety of reasons:

• Loss of self-confidence.
• Being overweight and hating it.
• Putting yourself in situations you shouldn’t.
• Being surrounded by crap.
• Some kind of trauma.
• Under achieving.
• Not being able to speak up for yourself.
• Looking in the mirror and thinking your ugly.

So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain your self-esteem? Here are some tips you may want to consider as part of your self-development.

Firstly imagine yourself as a dart board. Everything and everyone around you may become darts at some point. These darts will destroy your self-esteem and pull you down in ways you wouldn’t even want to remember. Don’t let them destroy you or get the best of you.  These are the darts you want to avoid:

Dart #1: Negative Work Environment

Workplace politics is something we cannot get away from, it bores me to death, but it is what it is.  Beware of the ‘dog eats dog’ theory where everyone is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and want to make you feel worthless. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and stay late. Most of the time you are working too hard and getting no help or little recognition.  Avoid this behaviour. Just make sure your ready to compete when you feel it is healthy to.

Dart #2: Other People’s Behaviour

This can come in various forms such as arse holes, gossip mongers, whiners, backstabber’s,  walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, hypocrites, patronisers and the like. These types of people will always pose bad vibes for your self-esteem, avoid them.

Dart #3: Past Experience

We all make mistakes and it’s okay to shout and cry when we experience pain. The important thing is not to allow past experiences and the pain they might bring to transform into fear. It might hurt and want to turn your life upside down but treat each failure and mistake like a lesson and move on.

Dart #4: Negative World View

The world is not going to end tomorrow and people will still be living out their lives when we are long gone and forgotten. Don’t get caught up in the news, nothing is new. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self-esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of the worst scenarios we may find ourselves in.

Dart #5: Determination Theory

Your personality and behavioural traits they say are a mixture of your inheritance (genetics), your upbringing (psychic) and your environmental surroundings (spouse, workplace, the economy or your circle of friends etc). Don’t believe the hype. You have your own identity. If your father’s a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be. Learn from others, so you’ll never make the mistakes they did.

Round Up

Sometimes you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. I don’t think so. Being positive and staying positive is a choice. Building self-esteem is a choice, not a rule or talent. God will not come down from heaven and say ‘you now have permission to build your self-esteem and improve yourself’.

I believe building self-esteem comes from within and has to do with our attitude, behaviour and way of thinking. Building self-esteem will eventually lead to self-improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Then it becomes a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from the inside out.

The Road To Intuition

Have you ever had that experience when all of a sudden you had a hunch that something was about to happen or someone would behave in a certain way, and to your surprise, that thought eventually translated into reality?

When you feel strongly about something without any logical basis to it that’s called intuition. It comes in any of three ways clairvoyance otherwise known as the ‘third eye’, sensing clearly and feeling through listening.

Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere. Sensing clearly is what we refer to as ‘hunch’ or ‘gut feeling’. This is the time when you’re overwhelmed with a feeling and you can’t explain it and all you can say is ‘I just know’. Feeling through listening, I will not use the term clairaudience as I think that’s a bit too deep and fundamentally different, is being able to ‘listen’ between the lines. This isn’t just about listening to what is being said or happening but taking in the whole picture i.e. what is being said, how it is being said, tone of voice and body language.

In the past I have heard that voice inside my head or had feeling but never acted on them. It has only been in the last few years that I have realised just how intuitive I actually am. Now I listen to myself all the time and act on my gut feelings.

They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive. There have been studies that proclaim anyone can develop intuition.

I do not believe that only a number of people are gifted with intuition, rather we are all gifted and anybody can develop it. I feel most people don’t make use or take into proper perspective what their mind is telling them. This can be out of ignorance or not wanting the outcome their mind, body and soul tells them. Think about it if your whole aura, your temple is speaking to you why wouldn’t you listen.

You may ask. Why should I develop my intuition? Why not just let my emotional and psychological state remain as it is? Well intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you. It often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative by enabling you use your mind in ways you never thought possible. Intuition keeps you out of trouble by acting like an early warning system. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate any negative energy buried within.

This has been my experience with intuition, I feel it only works if you are willing to listen, trust yourself and act on what your mind tells you.

Here are some ways to unlock this gift:

1. Hypnosis. Is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis.

2. Meditation. All you need is at least ten minutes in a quiet space and comfortable chair and some practiced breathing, meditating means finding peace inside you. If your mind and heart is cluttered with baggage and hurt, you will not be able to access that part of you that will initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate from yoga classes to practicing breathing techniques that could bring you closer to Zen.

3. Think positive. A worry-free and fear-free state of mind could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract the good energy that will be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.

4.  Just let go. What does this mean? Say you are on the brink of making a huge decision, then you need to let go of all your inhibitions, fears and worries. Go to a quiet place, I’ve known people to spend a few days in a Monastery, where you could find out what the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within, in most instances you will not hear that voice unless you let go.

5. Never expect. After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect an answer right away. Never expect that the ‘hunch’ will fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time, there’s no need to fret. You will be surprised that it just hits you and now you have your answer, now you can see clearly.

6. Believe in your first impressions. When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought on by intuition.

7. Stay happy. All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise intuition will fall to you easily.

Intuition is helpful because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. Decisions are easier done if armed with this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you never imagined.

Image Brandon Christopher Warren

Ice Cream

I was editing a post I was going to put up about African leaders and their corrupt practices when I said to myself ‘who really cares’. I mean does anybody really care about these characters. They travel the word and give speeches in the UN General Assembly. Their own people let them get away with it and they only really have to start worrying if they upset a Western benefactor. So there was no need for me to start a rant thousands of miles away, for all I know their people might even love their leaders. That’s when I decided to do a post about ice cream instead.

Why ice cream well apart from a host of other things I really like it, the richer and smoother the better. I can buy a litre or two of the cheap stuff when I want to make smoothies. When I just want to sit down and eat then my choice tends to be Haagen Dazs.  The price recently went up after Christmas, and that action made me start thinking of making my own.

My thinking was that if I could make pretty good smoothies then making pretty good ice cream shouldn’t be a giant leap forward. In a little way it was as I needed more than a blender I needed an ice cream maker. I picked one up two Thursdays ago – Magimix Le Glacier 1.1. Ensuring the freezer was around -18°C I put the bowl in and went to bed. The following Saturday I popped down to the supermarket and got some double cream, milk, castor sugar, eggs and vanilla extract. You can get vanilla essence if you want to. I also got some pecan nuts and fudge as I wanted to make my version of Haagen Dazs’s pralines and cream.

I left it for a week and when I woke the following Saturday morning I had ice cream on my mind. I had already made the custard base on Friday so all I needed to do was add double cream and vanilla extract and get the bowl from the freezer. Pour the mix into the ice cream maker and let it churn for twenty or so minutes. I ended up with  vanilla pecan fudge ice cream right there in my kitchen.

       

OK it wasn’t an exact replica of my Haagen Dazs favourite, but I wont be buying Haagen Dazs to take home again. I made it and I know exactly what’s in it, not to mention that it tastes fantastic. I’ve even started to wonder what my ice cream will taste like once I get better and start playing around with other ingredients.

Think For Yourself

Something hit me this morning while  listening to a radio show. A caller talked about practising Eckhart Tolle’s teachings. I checked him out as I had never heard of him.

I then moved on to other spiritualists, prophets and thinkers that are revered today. I noted that they are either European, Arabic, Asian or Indian no Africans. Think about it from Zoroaster, Lao Tzu, Mahavira, Siddhārtha Gautama, Heraclitus, Parmenides, Jesus, Mohammed, Epictetus,  Rumi, Meister Eckhart, Hafiz, Rinzai Gigen, Ralph Waldo Emerson. This goes right up to present with the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Osho, Freud, Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers etc.

Africans were very much in existence when all this development, thinking and prophesying was going on. History tells us that society in the form of empires, city states and villages was common throughout the continent. There were leaders, trade and borders. Wars were being fought, alliances made and people were everywhere. Considering this I cannot believe that no thinking, religion, development, education or moral views were not being discussed, taught and practiced. I am taking ancient Egypt out of the equation.

Could the present day adoption by Africans of foreign traditions, religions, languages, thoughts, lifestyle and education be a problem. Could this be a reason why Africa is currently lacking in development.

Asians, Indians and Arabs have retained the core parts of their languages, religions, traditions and customs. Their Nations seem to take on the bits they find relevant to their economic and scientific development. I see the adoption of everything foreign be it forceful or otherwise by African Nations as a contributory factor to their current under development.

My simple belief is that the appreciation of your own religion, culture, traditions and thoughts must come first. Once this foundation is present it leads to an overall value system and respect for self. Positive thinking and development should follow.

I find it interesting that most of ancient European thinking evolved in Greece and Rome. Northern Europe had nothing to give at that time, in fact they were barbarians ripe for civilisation. Northern Europeans now happily claim Greek and Roman civilization as their own, go to any major museum. Studying the classics is a must for intellectuals. There is a unity in purpose to appreciate the past and move forward as one.

Could the result of having a cause and acting in a united fashion mean something. The leaders of the Asian tiger economies, India and Brazil are corrupt but they are initiating a plan and developing. Only Africa is behind. African leaders need to see the bigger picture and plan for the future. Everybody else seems is. Fighting, corruption, lack of planning, a delight in the adoption and promotion of the views of others has to stop.

Chow Mien ‘Ivie’ Style

They say the brighter the colour of the ingredients the healthier the food. Well I thought I’d take that to heart when I made some noodles. I thought it look pretty bright and the little I had tasted real good.

What I did notice though was unlike when I buy takeout noodles, I felt full afterwards. Normally when I eat Chinese food, give it an hour or so and I’m hungary again. In fact I felt like going to have a little nap.

What I like about cooking food from scratch is:

• you know what’s in it
• you can make it as healthy as you want
• the portions are as big or small as you want them.
• the feel good factor afterwards

   

Ingredients:

• raw prawns
• chicken
• red onions
• scotch bonnet pepper
• bell pepper
• spring greens
• carotino oil
• spices and soy sauce
• egg noodles

It’s a little process to get this done, I’m sure you know how to mix it all together and get a result. To think once I finished cooking, she came and ate it all. SMH.

Personal Thoughts In a Blog? Penzu

Have you ever started a blog and decided that the contents were  too personal and deleted it? I have. I moved on to other things, but always wanted to keep a journal where I could record my thoughts and other interesting things personal to me. Just like I did when I was a kid.

Well I just couldn’t be bothered with a diary and the years went by, until December last year when I started another blog. After a few weeks I decided that it contained personal stuff and deleted it. Frustrated I checked out an online diary review and opted for Penzu, I went pro the following day.

If you want a journal that remains personal with levels of security that would embarrass Fort Knox opt for Penzu. I could say a lot more about the features like email reminders, prompts, the look glass, tags, multiple journals and there’s more, just check it out yourself.

Judge nothing–no event, no circumstance of life, and no
other person–regardless of how foreign the observation may
be to you. Know that every being is being who they must be
at this time–and doing their very best at it.

Why Would A Man Feel Threatened By Another Man

I am not talking about being threatened physically  or in fear of your life (probably the same thing). What I am driving at is a man feeling insecure and worried by the presence of another man. Like having an inferiority complex.

As far as I can tell more often than not the person who is perceived as a threat doesn’t realise the effect he is having on people and is just goes about his day-to-day activities.

Making a list always has its drawbacks but I just can’t think of another way of expressing myself. Let’s see what can make another man feel threatened:

• Jealousy – I always thought only women get jealous, as it seems to comes natural to them. Well men get jealous too.
• Envy – Envy can raise its head for very minor reasons like your looks or the way you carry yourself.
• Height – Yes a smaller guy can and some do have a thing about them being short, when a tall guy pops round.
• Attraction – Women can be attracted to a certain kind of man and being the cuties that they are they could innocently say things like ‘that your friend is real cool’ or ‘where is your friend’ or even ‘why can’t you be like your friend’ to their partner. This could result, especially in a man with little self confidence, in feelings of fear and anger for no real reason.
• Luck – Yes you may just be blessed in a way that raises eyebrows. You go through life seemingly with no real problems (we know that ain’t really so). You really don’t care about much and never heed to others dogma. You might have to watch your back.
• Lifestyle – You are just be being yourself and you got good game, so you may come across as friendly, cool and always got something to say. if you got style, speak, well, own a physic and look cool when you don’t shave or dress down. Oh boy listen give the lesser men a break, they’ll kill you man.
• Race – Yes there is a racial element. A tall, strong, slim dark looking man among others not of that type can make them feel well worried, especially if your smart. You’ll even get knock backs from people of your own race. Oh yes you will.
• Intelligence – Shocking I know but if your unfortunate enough to be working in an environment where people aren’t as smart as you, or you dare challenge the norm. You just might be ruffling some feathers. They might even start hiding work from you and steal your ideas.

It doesn’t matter if someone has is richer or has more status than you, there might be something about you that oozes confidence or just plain simple natural goodness. Something money and power can’t buy.

I’m just putting down the things that come to my mind on this issue. Do you have anything else to add? Tell me.

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